Archive for July, 2013

Thoughts: Shitty Cookies


Did I really have to come all the way to France to perfect my macarons? Well yea, kinda. Am I gonna post the perfect recipe for a perfect macaron…. no (or else I would have to kill you). This is more about a lesson in failure.

Sometimes you get an idea or a desire to create something. Myself, I always get a lot of idea, and I have that perfectionist syndrome that I will do it and do it and continue doing it until either A) I love it or B) I hate it.

Back in my LA kitchen, I got the desire to make macarons. (Of course I could have picked maybe pancakes out of a box… or perhaps some pillsbury biscuits, but noooo, I wanted to drive myself crazy – I like to exercise my crazy). So it was me against the macaron.

I’m a nerd by heart, so I read and studied every blog, every recipe, every book… I even bought my first kitchen scale to scale my ingredients. I prepared and really, really though… “It can’t be that hard”.  But just like college where you study so many things and learn about so many subjects, and spend 4-5 years of your life in an institution “studying”…  just to find out that you don’t really know crap about life, I failed. I didn’t fail once, I failed twice, four times, six time… I failed so much that I hated macarons. I hated their basic look, I hated meringue, their name even annoyed me…

What I didn’t realize is that each time I made them, I began to focus on less important things. The problems kept getting smaller. The first time I made them, I maaay have filled the room with smoke. The second time, the shells cracked, but no smoke in the house. The third time, they got small feet, but no cracks and no smoke. Yes, I kept encountering a new problem, but I kept overcoming more significant problems. It was like living the 10,000 hour theory from the book The Outliers. I realized that you have to make a lot of shitty things before you make great things. But shitty things aren’t shitty, they’re pieces to the puzzle.

So now that I had made so many shitty cookies, I had so much knowledge that it allowed me to share and ask a lot of questions when I arrived to France. And of course now I can make them with my eyes closed (jk, don’t try that at home). And now I really appreciate their beauty, elegance and uniqueness even more.

So don’t be let down when you make shitty things. Making shitty things is better than making nothing at all. If someone asks you, “Have you ever baked a cake?” and you say “No”….Zzzzzzzzzz booorinngggg. But if you say “Yes, one time I made this shitty ass cake….” Nooooow I’m intrigued : )



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